Save us

a mere few seconds ago, I had a case of the, "i'm totally gonna post something super mean & brutally honest on fb about a really jerky family member so the whole world will gaze at their failures and see how terrible they are!" syndrome.

I typed it out in my fury.
Then deleted it.
Only to replace it with a meaner one.
Ooh, that one will make it hit home!
Then deleted it.
Only to make it more specific & EVEN meaner.
Yes!
*laughs like Cruella*
The perfect super mean statement about my jerky family member!
Now I can humiliate them in front of the whole FB WORLD!

but right before I press that "share" button..
My finger immediately dials my sweetheart's no. & I intently fill him in on my genius plans.

"so...can i post it?"
him: " steph, PLEASE dont post that."
me: "why not."
him: "it's totally mean!"
me: "EXACTLY! :) "

ah, what can i say. i think i just wanted to get his attention more than I wanted to know if it was really mean. It was pretty evil.

for me, anger floods in at times like these.
where people's failures flash & resonate loudly like ambulance sirens at 1am...and we're at the receiving end.

but then I think of the reality of sin.
it eats us alive, swallows us whole, and dooms us forever.

Relief comes when we look up & see that a Savior has come.
He is victor over this terror.
It takes one reluctant look into this blackened heart , & inside:
I am the sheep with the already broken leg, but still finds a way to see how far she can run away from her Shepherd; while still remaining in the confines of safety.

A testimony, from a king named Hezekiah in the bible. 

 Behold, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness;

but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction,

for you have cast all my sins behind your back.

-Isaiah 38:17

Next time you are also being treated like crap-o-la & are tempted to attack, stop.
Remember the love of the Savior. And how much you are forgiven.