Praise you, help me keep praising you.

phew. it's been a hard few months.. okay.. really YEAR. putting all the other trials & things aside, just financially, alone its been an extreme struggle. despite my negative checking accounts and depleted funds, I've been continuing to wait on Him, because I know He will provide in due time. Its just crazy.. and.. I'll be the first to admit, I'm getting a little impatient.. i mean.. dude! last time I held a real job was for 6 months at Vons as a cake decorator.. and I quit that job in january of last year!

..the crazy part is.. everytime there's a job opportunity.. i feel like.. God always closes the door.. its almost like.. "aww, cmon Lord, really? .. i really need this job!".. haha.. but He keeps reassuring me through his words, and people & messages..that I just have to keep waiting.. i've applied & applied to places with either no response.. or... "position was JUST filled".. and.. its crazy, even though I know people in high places..and i mean.. HIGH places.. it works out so that they never get to see my application! SO CRAZY!.. like.. I know the lady who hires ALL the pharmacy technicians in the san fernando valley area (where i used to live with my dad during school).. so she knows the lady who hires all the pharmacy technicians HERE... and STILL!... the timing was just perfect..ly wrong! ... she personally searched for my application through all the other ones online, but at the time, i was "confused".. and thought that to finish my application.. I had to be hired--WRONG! i was actually supposed to finish the latter part inside a walgreens store..so by the time i finished it.. she wasn't really personally looking for my application anymore..

and then TODAY!.. i have an opportunity to interview with the gentleman who is actually HIRING for Kaiser!... for pharmacy technicians.. but..it just so happens.. that my dad is making me go alll the way to van nuys to delive my lola's insurance.. .. dude.. seriously if i didn't love my grandma..i would be SO pissed. haha.. she's sick right now (please pray for her)..she's actually doing fine, but its just that she was in the hospital..cuz something in her body had too high of a count.. (something that starts with a P..i don't know), so yeah!.. and he said "you have to go tomorrow morning".. there's no way i CAN'T go.. he was basically yelling at me last night (during HOW practice, mind you. GRR. i hate jerky men. ahah) but anyway, its just starting to get so frustrating :( here's an open opportunity, and somehow, I always seem to just miss it.

oh God, help me to keep praising You, even when I don't understand.