sharply dull.

oh, how i long to be so much deeper than where I am. the cells in my brain and the beats in my heart are not connecting at all. this mediocre "stagnant-ism" is just frustrating; but sadly comfortable and lovable all in one convenient package. that hard pounding conviction and yearning soul within me hasn't been pulling for all that is Good. i miss You.. but I'm so sorry that most of the time, I don't. i love You, but forgive me that most of the time, i'm so okay with bringing crumbs and leftovers to Your table. take my heart, and make it yours. take me deeper beyond all that I know, i just.. wanna.. go deeper.

..last night was marvelous. for the first time, I was able to sing my songs.. in public! :) .. as in.. strangers! ;) as in..real people! hahah.. thanks so much to ms. andrea hamilton for letting me do so. here's a posted video of myself & andrea singing some songs. thanks to kris, marv, hendrix, markie & jan for supporting me. you guys rock. (sorry i didn't tell the whole world.. haha..i get really shy singing around people i know.. but.. with strangers.. not so shy.. hehe) the first song I sang was an original called "one more again".. then interwined with jimmy needham's "dearly loved"--he's my biggest inspiration as a christian artist. I really look up to him! :) i messed up like a million times.. and, my voice was like flat the whole time.. :( but i know that's not the point... anyhoots! let me know what you guys think, hopefully you were all blessed. to Him be the glory..

love, love, me! :)