Fluff & Flair

almost a month ago, our college minstry went door knocking..
Donald Miller's quote (in "Blue like Jazz")  about christians trying to sell Jesus like a vacuum salesman
instead of having an organic, natural, and genuinely outflowing love-relationship w/ Him
echoed over and over in my mind. He said that at one point in his life, he met a girl named Penny.
She was different. She was a different type of "Christian;" she didn't try to shove
Jesus down your throat as if she was simultaneously attempting to convince herself too
that this "Christian" faith was real.. rather, she spoke of Jesus like he was her best friend.
Like she knew him, and loved him.

That was the start of it.
Over the years, God's been challenging me to find things out for myself.
As Paul Washer once said, "We base our faith on the back of  Christian t-shirts!!" and may I elaborate?
.. we make our life's foundation the sermons on Sunday, the inspiring songs that tug at our heart,
the wonderful encouraging talks we have with our congregation... so on & so forth..
 *i say this because these things are meant to SUPPLEMENT our faith, not to define them :)


needless to say, this year has been one in getting to know God the way He wants me to..no fluff & flair.
Anyway, here was Andy & I...and it was my turn to share the gospel.

just tell her about Jesus...just tell her about Jesus..

For the first time as my experience, their guard was up.
She was ready to fight with her faith, and I had my sword in hand too.
But the moment I began to speak, I was stuttering and my heart began to beat so fast.

I remembered all the bible verses of God reminding me He was with me..and His gospel is powerful..
all the things I learned about God moving the heart of man..and we just must share.. He will do the rest.. blah blah.. just kept droning in & out of my brain as here I was, shaking in my boots because for the first time..

this woman knew her faith in & out..and here I was presenting Jesus to her..and I realize that i.. was ashamed =T
There was a sudden urge to speak with such eloquence and grace and poise, and poetic prose so this woman could see what Jesus did for man & sin..and how His blood covers & saves.

what the heck are you doing?

i just kept saying that to myself.. and although I did share the gospel to her..and sure..i hit "all the points" i still feel like i failed.. God knows. i've been having that burden and (lame) but sometimes, I would tear up when i thought of that time because I felt so sad that I would ever be ashamed of my Lord!

..fast forward to monday.. my loviebear & I had such a wonderful & memorable evening, but nothing really beat the time we spent talking about the Lord.. I was so excited to show him this Jimmy Needham song about the gospel..and how people tend to fluff it up ( it hit home for me)..and.. after he hear it he said..

"ugh..steph. yeah! it just gets me how people do that.. it's like.. not only are you 1) ashamed of the gospel..but.. 2) it means you don't really believe in it's saving power!.. if you're adding all these things and trying to make it sound "better" .. you don't really think that God is enough.."

my initial thought? that lady.

it made me really sad after he said that, because I knew that it rang so true for me. (if you read this sweets, didn't tell you at the time..but..now you know! hahaha!)

i think that a HUGE reason of why it's so hard for many of us to share the gospel besides
the obvious reasons (fear, politically correct-ness (?), etc.).. is that we don't have a
real relationship w/ God. The gospel never got to grow in our lives, or bear real fruit..
so rather than testifying of this "amazing grace," we resort to  giving over-rehearsed speeches
with no life or luster to them.

in short, let us long to know Him for ourselves, not just what we hear/see/imitate.
He deserves more than that.

p.s...i absoutely adore this man :)
this was a snippet from our month-sary :)