sing to me.

felt like swimming against a current this past week!
and i felt that quick moving water again slowly creeping in.
now that i think about it:
isn't that how our life in Christ, is though? always swimming upstream?
the moment we stop kicking, stop moving our arms through that clean river,
we begin to drift right back to that murky water.

and not only is it dirty, unclean, and rotten.. its so far away from that Water that we can drink of.
and thirst no more. 


in this case, it would be more proper to say that the current was simply flowing stronger, then :)

This is about the 2nd time in my life that I can say that I'm going through something huge in my heart.
a moving, shifting, rearranging, cauterizing,--a menace of a transforming.
Your voice echoes for MILES when I'm in this underground cave.
When all is quiet.
When even the ones i would die for in this world..begin to pale away, for just enough time till You can finish speaking to me in this solace.

It would be a lie to speak of a facade..cuz there just isn't one.
i'm genuinely happy and i can throw a hug and smile long after the night ends; but at the same time genuinely broken & learning.

God always does this: before I even have a chance to pray, he feels my heart's yearnings.
I felt my legs beginning to get tired. And my arms weary again.
For some reason, I really wanted to listen to Smokie Norful and one simple phrase coated my spirit with instantaneous peace:

"The joy of the Lord is my strength."

We were created for Him, so to find our joy from anything other than Him is not only foolish, its like a circle... "it's like a serkel.. like a ling.. it nevah ends!"-I now pronounce you Chuck & Larry

haha. no but really. we do. and find ourselves at the beginning.
he wants our first, present, and last breaths, and all the beautiful or ugly ones in between.

You are my portion, my strength, and my everlasting song.
Nothing in this world can cloud my joy in you if I truly do allow you to be the sole King of my heart.


bon nuit!
steph